Healing, Inside and Out

I've been learning a lot about healing lately. Physical healing and emotional healing. 

Had another snowboarding accident this year to end my snowboarding season, sadly. So bed rest has taught me physical healing. But through that I learned a lot to be honest. 

Why do we wait until we need to be physically healed, before becoming emotionally healed? I feel like that's how I did it. I was working on healing emotionally, I really was, but I was never actually into it and working at it in the way that I should have been.

I was constantly beating myself up for it. Thinking things like "Just get over it." or "Seriously, Naomi, you shouldn't even still be hurting from this." and the list goes on. I wasn't being patient with myself and I was trying to rush my healing so I could just move on in life.

See, the thing with healing emotionally, is having to meet the opposition head on. You've got to think and register every ugly truth and every painful moment and through that, learn how to think differently about yourself and the way you see others and situations around you. 

I was okay with starting the healing process, but halfway through, the pain was renewed and I just felt worse than I ever had before. So why not just pause the healing, right? That's not how it works. Once you start healing, stopping isn't a good thing. Because then you lose the strength you have and maybe even need to start all over in the future.

I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking, "Okay, this is too much for me, I'm done." Because it seemed like every time I would take a step forward, I would take another two steps back. When really, looking back in the past month, what I was doing was taking one step forward, and another step forward. My perspective on it was negative because my view of myself was negative and honestly sometimes it still is.

The first few weeks of being "under house arrest" drove me crazy. I wanted to be doing the usual. I wanted to be babysitting, playing music, singing, going to youth and church, and going out with friends. Not laying in a bed all battered and not quite broken, but bruised.

It's still driving me crazy to be honest, but God has taught me that it is okay to slow down. There is no need to rush in life. And in that way, I learned there's no need to rush the healing. Healing, whether emotional or physical, cannot be rushed. It's painful, but don't rush it, because it's worth it in the end.

I went out one day with my friend and I admit, I wasn't careful. I was reckless, just like I was with snowboarding. By the time evening came around that day, I was feeling terrible. My head was pounding, my heart was racing, and my ribs were in pain from walking around and doing too much. And that was a setback in my healing process. I almost had to start over because I tried to rush it.

I learned my lesson then. This one that I'm sharing with you. I can't rush this physical healing. My ribs hurt when I do too much, my head pounds if there are too many people around, and my whole way of thinking just totally confuses itself when this happens. I get confused easily and then I forget things.

Taking it slow is okay. I'm still mostly under house arrest. I went out yesterday for a few minutes with my friend and that went really well because I didn't overexert myself. I took my time when I walked and I made sure to recognize the warning signs before a headache came on, and avoided it by doing what I was told to do: Rest in bed. With my friend, of course. Resting by yourself is boring, I've come to realize. ;) 

It's been almost three weeks since my accident. And even though I'm anxious to get back into life, I know I can't right now. I've got to work my way up to that slowly. Take it one thing at a time. 

That's how I learned the right way to do emotional healing. Sometimes we will have setbacks. Sometimes something will come along and we'll feel like we didn't get anywhere. But think about the times you got somewhere and remember those, because those are the most important times. Those are the moments that really matter. Because setbacks are just the countdown before the launch into something amazing. We view them as setbacks, but the people who surround us, view it as still being a healing in process and that's okay.

I'm taking my healing process one day at a time now. I'm growing closer with God and I'm reading His Word. And I'm taking the time to heal. It's saddening that I had to be physically forced down to do this, but otherwise, how else would God have gotten my attention? I was reckless and not listening before. Now I am. And He has my attention.

I was chatting with one of my close friends in Paraguay, Marcy. And she wrote me this: "Remember Revelation 21:4. "He will remove all of their sorrows, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. For the old world and it's evils are gone forever." Soon, He'll take away all the pain. Until then, stay strong. Cry if you're sad and laugh when you're happy. And once He comes, there'll only be good. No hurting at all."

And I love the way she phrased that. Because she's right. We're only on earth for a short time. I know a lifetime feels like forever, but it isn't. She said it the way it should be. It helped show me that it was okay to take my time. And I'm going to do that. If it takes me months to heal physically, I'm going to get impatient of course, but I'm going to do that, because I don't want anymore setbacks. And if it takes me months to heal emotionally, I'm going to do that too. Not because I think I have to, but because I know it needs to be done. If not now, then in the future.

I'd rather do it now and take my time. Don't rush the healing. Take your time. Because one day, it will all be worth it. Trust me. And most importantly, trust God in that.