In The End, It's All Good?

     I won't lie or sugarcoat anything. These past few months have been extremely and excruciatingly difficult in ways I never could have imagined before. I have faced challenges and trials that I thought I wasn't prepared for. And yet, I made it to the place where I am. I'm honestly in awe.

     A few months ago, in the middle of everything, I came across a quote that I'd like to share with you. It had a huge impact on me and still does, especially today.
"A good day is a good day. A bad day is a good story. In the end, it's all good."
I kept this quote close on hand every day. I was so sure that it was true, because it reminded me of the Bible verse, Romans 8:28.
"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

     But as the days passed by, I would still end up in tears by the time night came and I felt alone. Here I was holding onto the promise that God would make this into something good, and yet I still felt stuck in this place where I was completely and utterly alone. For weeks, for months, I would lay in bed at night and ask God "Why is this happening. Here I am at the end of the day, a bad day, and this isn't my idea of a good story! This isn't my idea of anything good. It's still a bad day, it's still a bad story, it's still a bad time!" I was filled with so much anger towards this situation, towards the days that passed.

     Some days would be good. I loved those days and I thought of them as a prize amongst a pile of garbage. But they were far apart and there were few in those bad days. This went on for a while. I put the quote away for a while and ignored it. But it came up last week, and when I saw it, I laughed bitterly and thought "Yeah right. All good? What a joke." and passed right through it. Until this week.

     I had a conversation with someone. They were going through a similar situation and I knew they were struggling with it a lot. I could relate. I still struggle. So I listened to them as they talked, and when they asked for my input and my advice, I gave it willingly. I gave it all from experience of being in a similar situation. We talked until late into the night and in the end, they felt quite settled about it, after I explained some ways I had been helped by others at that time of my life, ways that I had figured out that helped me. The conversation ended on a very good note, of us encouraging each other with the promise that we would talk again soon.

     I went to bed feeling pretty great, happy that I could use something I'd gone through to help someone else and feeling blessed to have had such an enriching conversation with them. It wasn't until today at work, that it all hit me.

     "A good day is a good day. A bad day is a good story. In the end, it's all good." It echoed in my head all morning. I couldn't think of why for the longest time. I felt like my mind was spinning in circles trying to figure it all out, like a puzzle.

     See, I'm not the most patient person. I struggle with that. I always want something instantly. Something now. And for months, I thought "Why isn't this happening? Where's my good story?" at the end of every single bad day. But it never says "At the end of the day." or anything like that. All it says is, "In the end, it's all good." And then I realized, this is what it meant. I had finally figured it out. I had believed in this quote, I had wondered why it wasn't coming through for me, when all along, I'd never really understood the grand significance of it.

     Because until this week, it hadn't been a good story for me. For the past while, it had been anything but a good story for me. But in that moment when someone was going through something similar, when someone was in need of hearing something encouraging, when someone needed to feel not so alone, it became a good story.

     It becomes a good story in the right time. It takes editing, it takes patience, it takes a rough draft, and another draft, and countless corrections along the way, until it really and truly becomes a good story. We hear people talk about this thing called "God's timing" countless times. It's a common Christian phrase and it's one of the most used ones.

     It takes God's timing for a bad day to turn into a good story. And after four months of waiting for countless bad days to turn into good stories, many nights spent wondering why nothing was happening, I feel like I learned the most obvious thing of all. But it's a wonderful feeling. Like solving a mystery after a long search.

     I have a good story. You have a good story. But be patient, take time, and realize that yes, a bad day is a good story, but it won't be right away. It'll be a hard story and it may be a painful story. But one day that story will become something good for someone else who is in the same place you once stood. And that's what makes everything worth it. It is worth so much more than you realize. I hope one day, you're able to tell someone about the bad day that turned into a good story.

Blessings!

Identity

It's amazing how we so easily let what others say get to us. Sometimes even define us. It has power over us. More than we'd ever like to admit. Some of us find our identity in it, Some of us lose our identity in it. Even if what others say is untrue.

Maybe that's not the case for you. Maybe you're the sort who words bounce right off of. Lucky you. I know I'm not. No matter what is spoken, true or untrue, it affects me. Even with Christ's powerful affirmations of who I am in Him, I need to daily remind myself that my identity is found in Christ, not others.

One of my favorite Christian rappers, Lecrae, has a song titled "Identity". In there, it says "Identity is found in the God we trust, any other identity will self-destruct." This is so much more true than we realize. In the past I have tried to find my identity in family. In friends. In a relationship. And in the end, I've always lost it. But in these past few weeks, things have drastically changed.

A lot of times, I sit and wonder, what does it mean to find our identity in Christ? What does that look like? I've been going through a sort of self-discovery period these past couple of months and what I've come to find is that I think finding our identity in Christ has a lot to do with trusting Him. Saying "Okay, God, You're in charge." By doing so, we allow ourselves to be used by Him. Shaped. Molded.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, soul, and mind. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6

This past summer resulted in me rededicating my life to Christ. I gave it all to Him. Officially. it was a difficult time that I was going through and I was at a loss for which direction my life was taking. I knew I could never make it on my own. I'd watched my goals and dreams for my life, wash out like the tide of the ocean. So as of July 31st, I made the decision to rededicate my life to God. It wasn't an easy process. I had to let go of what held me down the most, and that's usually the fear of never knowing my identity. Never knowing who I am. Who I'm supposed to be.

After going through that process, I realized that as long as I was striving to be Christlike and make that my ultimate goal, that question didn't matter. That fear didn't matter. It was like it all suddenly made sense.

When I made that choice to follow God wholeheartedly again, I made the decision to do whatever He asked of me, go wherever He called me, all with no objection. It hasn't been the most fun walk, I'll be honest there. But where it's led me so far has made it all worth it for sure.

My identity isn't so important anymore when I'm following God and leading others in that same direction. I have the identity of a daughter of Christ. A faithful servant. A disciple of the Lord. A young woman who puts God above all else.

Life isn't just about finding ourselves. Life is about being someone who brings glory to God, our Maker. In our actions, our words, our daily lives. Life is about Him. So are we finding our identity in others? Or in Christ?

Missing

They say when a part of you is taken, a part of you is missing. But what no one ever talks about is how much? How much is missing?

If there's a puzzle and only one piece is missing, is it a big deal? What happens if two pieces are missing? Three? Four? The more you're missing, the emptier the completion is. The less there is for you to appreciate.

If you're playing a masterpiece on the piano and you miss a note, that's okay, right? But miss another... And another. Miss a whole armada and suddenly you can sense the cringes around you as people fail to pick up on what was once seen as beauty.

Why do we suddenly think less of something as soon as there's a missing factor? Why does it become less important, less beautiful? Now look at it differently.

A girl is missing her mother. She has none. Do you think less of her? Do you see her as less of a whole because that motherly role is missing in her life?

What about the boy who is missing a home? Do we love him less? Do we call him incomplete?

What about the girl who made a mistake? Who gave herself away and feels the consequences? Do we judge her and say her virtue is gone?

No. At least we shouldn't.

Because missing is only a perspective. Missing is only the absence of something. It doesn't define who we are. It doesn't define where our lives will take us. What we do with our "missing" selves defines that.

The prodigal son was missing. He returned. He was missing no more.

God calls all of us. We see ourselves as people who are missing things. He sees our puzzles and says "Come to me. I have what you need."

In Psalm 23, it reads that "He restores my soul." He takes the missing parts of us and brings them together. He creates something new, something that will give us a hope and a future.

God doesn't want us to think about the missing, the absence of our perfection. He wants us to look at it and be reminded that that is what He came for. What He died for. So that we could be made whole through Him and brought together with Him.

In Christ, I am missing nothing. In Christ, I lack nothing. In Christ, I have all I need. In Christ, I am the perfect puzzle. In Christ, I have had nothing taken, but everything given. In Christ, I am whole.